Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and I am excited to spend it with just my little family. I am getting a little tired of saying this is my "first" mother's day b/c it is not. Truth is I've had many mother's days as a mother, just I haven't had a child here on earth to share it with until this year. I don't like to be the "debbie downer" so I never correct myself or anyone else. I never know quite how I'm supposed to act about the holiday. When we go out to eat on that day, am I supposed to get a flower too? After all I AM a mother, I did give birth. For the past 8.5 years it has been a very awkward day for me, but this year I'm hoping it will start to be a joyful holiday for me and that I will start to get excited about it. Mother's day has always been a hard day for my sister and me. I do miss the days before we had our own families where we would go spend that day together doing whatever we wanted. It was a day we could truly be selfish and not have to worry about other ppl's feelings and be together. Well this year I'm being selfish again. I just want to spend it with my little family and no one else. I want to celebrate Layla's life and what a blessing and miracle she really is. I will also think about my mother whom I miss dearly and wish was here to meet her 4 grandchildren. She would have loved to have been a grandmother. I consider myself pretty damn lucky, I still see my mother's smile when I close my eyes and I can still hear her laugh every time I think of her. Please this year give your mother a big hug and cherish the time you have together. There is no love/connection quite like a mother's love.