Sunday, March 21, 2010

Never thought it would happen to me...

Yesterday was an extremely long and crazy day at the hospital! It all started the day before(on Friday). I started having some light spotting and mild mild discomfort. After I got home from work I call the on call doctor and she told me to rest and hopefully it will go away, if it gets really bad go to the ER, otherwise go in to see the doctor on Monday if it doesn't worsen. So I stayed off my feet, had Kelly make me some Velveeta shells and cheese and the spotting had stopped! I was thinking, yes I was in the clear!! I was wrong. I woke up the next morning (yesterday, Saturday) and the spotting was heavier, not heavy but heavier, and discomfort was stronger, but not quite cramps yet. So I turned to Kelly and told him that I was just going to stay in bed literally all day and pray it goes away. He was okay with that because he wanted to work on the new house a bit anyways. About an hour later the discomfort turned into mild mild cramps, it felt like premenstrual cramps. I talked to my sister and she told me that if she was in my shoes she would go and that people go to the ER for much less serious reasons. So I finally said okay, better safe than sorry! So I took a shower and got dressed. Kelly drove us into Ft. Worth and it was right around lunch time. We were both hungry and decided no telling how long we were going to be in the hospital so we better eat now. We stopped at Jason's deli, I was really wanting soup for some reason. I thought I felt a little heavier flow and went to the bathroom to check. Yep I was right still not really heavy but heavier and while I was taking a shower and getting ready my cramps were getting worse. I asked Kelly to finish lunch and that we really needed to head out soon! Poor fella wanted to eat some banana pudding and he skipped it so we could leave. He is so sweet! We get to the hospital and luckily the waiting room wasn't full just a couple of people ahead of me! They get me back into triage and get my vitals and then put me into another waiting room until a treatment room opens up. And right before I went into triage I had a sharp pain. I thought to myself, crap I was thinking this was just me overreacting and now it just turned serious. I also went into the bathroom to go pee and the nurse said to give them a urine sample. My little cup was red, not the normal color, of course. I started getting really scared and luckily I had Kelly there to comfort me and to joke with me to get my mind of things. He kept saying, "Babe, don't overreact till you know there is something to be scared about". Hello! I'm a girl and that's what we do, OVERREACT!! We waited for a room for about an hour and a half. Guess they were busy after all. Finally got into the room and saw the doctor, he was nice and pretty much said if I was miscarrying there is not much they can do. Then he said that they needed a urine sample. They didn't use the other. I came out of the bathroom earlier and some weird nurse guy looked at me funny when I gave him the first sample earlier and said, "we can't use this because it has blood in it" I told him "well I was told to give a sample so here it is! I'm here at the hospital because I am bleeding!" My second sample was normal color!! No red!!! That gave me a lot of hope!! We waited and waited and some guy came and took blood and hooked up an iv and then finally someone else came to take me away for a sono. This is what I've been wanting. I wanted to know if there a heartbeat or not! The sonogram tech didn't say much but really I think that's just who she is. She was nice but just not talkative! I didn't really think anything of it. I figured she is just the sonogram tech and she probably isn't even allowed to tell me anything, so I didn't ask any questions! I get wheeled back to my room and soon after my grandmother and aunt show up. It was nice to see their faces! At this point poor Kelly and I were at the hospital for about 4 hours or so. They were there for a little while and the doctor knocks on the door and comes in. He asked if it was alright to talk about things with my other family in the room. Of course I said yes. He had that look on his face and before one word about my results came out of his mouth I knew it wasn't good news. He told me that I was having a miscarriage and that I would pass the sac in the next day or so. I was devastated!! How could I have a miscarriage when we tried so hard to get pregnant in the first place!? I don't mean any disrespect to anyone who has had one, but I truly thought that I wouldn't have a miscarriage. I don't know my reasoning but I honestly thought it wouldn't happen to me!! I'm sure everyone thinks that though. My grandmother and aunt left so Kelly and I could be alone. He is such a sweet husband and of course they never know really what to say to us but just them being there and loving us helps more than any words could! He looked sad but I think he was more concerned for me! He knows we will get pregnant again and we will have a beautiful baby someday!

I learned a lot yesterday! The doctor said something to me that I'll never forget and I truly believe this: often someone has a miscarriage because there could have been something wrong with the baby and this was nature's way of fixing it. And then the nurse explained to me that a miscarriage often feels like really painful contractions. After all a miscarriage really is the birthing process, just way too early!! I never thought about it like that, but it's so true!

Soon after the doctor left the room I started feeling strong strong pains. I wasn't sure if I should call the nurse in or what. So I just waited about 20-30 minutes till the nurse came in to discharge me. She saw tears in my eyes and asked if I was in pain. I said yes and she ran to get me some pain meds! Man did that first shot of morphine help but still felt pains so I got another shot and again it helped but still felt it and they did say I would leave the hospital pain free! So they asked if I wanted another. Of course I did. It was bad enough I just lost my baby or was in the process, I did not want to have pain to keep reminding me why I was in the hospital in the first place! My nurse was so sweet and very talkative. She sat in the room with Kelly and I for a bit chit chatted and it was nice to talk about what all she sees in the ER and to keep my mind off things! So around 6ish? I was told that I needed a Rho gram shot because I'm RH- blood type and everyone who has RH- blood type has to have that shot at 24 weeks and after birth to prevent any complications. I'm not too sure what happens but I do know that if my blood and the baby's blood interact there could be some complications that can be serious. More than likely the baby has RH+ blood type. RH- is rare! I think I read once that only 15% of white women have RH- blood types. Thanks mom or dad!! LOL. For whatever reason the lab had to mix up the Rho gram shot and it was supposed to take just a few hours. Of course it took longer. It took 5 or 6 hours, but I needed it and we had to wait.

Right after the nurse said it would take at least three hours it was around 8:30 and Kelly was starving. I sent him to get some food in his belly and to bring me back a hamburger. When he got to the room I started feeling nausea. So I told the nurse and she gave me something for that, and it helped but I was too tired to eat now! Around 11pm I went to the bathroom and passed the sac. They wanted me to save it if I could so they could send it off to the lab to confirm everything and I'm sure testing or what not. Luckily I wasn't in any pain at that time. I had plenty of meds in me! Kelly was soo tired and his back was hurting and he was ready to go home! We both were!! Somehow he got a burst of energy around 1am. Good thing because he had to drive us home!! Finally around 1:45ish the shot was ready!!! I was kind of in and out of sleep when she came in. I got the shot and then she took some final vitals and we were about to be on our way. I stood up, got my shirt on and oh crap, I threw up in the trash can like 5 times! Kelly called my nurse in for me. She gave me a bucket and some medicine and really before I got my medicine I felt better. Guess I just needed to throw up 5 or 6 times first. And some even came out of my nose!(TMI?) It was awful. I smelled that throw up smell for the whole drive home!! Lucky me!! I honestly didn't care I was so tired and so ready to be home!!!

I was a hard day yesterday and I really want to thank my husband of course because without him I would be so lost!! He is my rock and my support and I could not ask for a better man to call my husband. I also want to say thank you to all my family and friends for their love and support!! Ya'll helped me get through yesterday also!! I cannot tell you all enough how grateful I am to have you all in my life!!

It's about 4:30pm right now and I feel much much better. I woke up this morning and cried and asked Kelly if yesterday was just an awful nightmare. He told me that everything will be okay and that we will try again! I don't have any cramps yet and haven't needed to take any medicine today. But I'm also taking it easy today and tomorrow I have to see my OB doctor to make sure everything is okay and that everything that's supposed to come out, came out.

I never posted a picture of any of my sonogram pictures from when I was 7 weeks but here is one sono picture.

11 comments:

chelsea said...

i never thought it would happen to you either. :( i'm really sorry. know that we are here for yall and we'll do whatever you need us to without question. (unless you want me to kill someone, i'd question that. lol) we love yall!

Lissa Michelle said...

Oh, Kristyn, I am just so, so, so sorry for you and Kelly. I hope you get lots of rest this week as your body and heart heal. You WILL be blessed again by another miracle. I love you, and I am sorry!

anna said...

I am so, so sorry, Kristyn. We are thinking of you and Kelly. I am just so sorry.

Kat and Craig said...

the word sorry does not do justice for how my heart feels for you and kelly. however, thank you for your blog and your honesty. love you so much..our thoughts and prayers are with you. you are so amazing.

Candycane said...

i'm just really sad and wish i could heal you...

Anonymous said...

i'm so sorry you and kelly had this to go through...
i believe as the dr. does and always have...that this is god's way to help you two have a healthy baby...and before you know it, you will have that precious baby you two so deserve...
my love and prayers are with you..take care of yourself now and get strong...
and yes your very lucky to have such a strong loving husband to help you and stand by you...cindy

Jessica Thomas said...

Sweatheart I had no idea... My heart goes out to you and Kelly with high hopes that your day as amazing patents will be here before you know it. Love you girl and am here for you for whatever you need. You are one of the strongest people I know to be able to go through all your past situations and I honor you for this. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... You and Kelly are such wonderful people and I am so glad that you have your best friend next to you for strength and encouragement. I'm here for you 

Anonymous said...

I really don't know what to say except that I am thinking of you. I just wanted you to know how brave I think you are for having gone through what you went through and then write about it for us to read and share. You are very lucky to have such a support system. Some day you will look back on this as just another event in your life. By then you will have one or more beautiful children to love. Keep your fabulous attitude and it will make things easier. You are loved and a very special young lady.

Nancy Speer

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I am keeping you and Kelly in my thoughts and prayers. Your sweet baby will be in your arms one day and all of this sadness will be just a memory. I love you and I hope nothing but wonderful thoughts for you, Katy

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I too believe what your Dr. told you. Someday soon you will have a healthy, happy baby. Sorry I can't be with you and Kelly to comfort you. Keep remembering all of your blessings. I love you. Take care! Love, Aunt Kris

Anonymous said...

So very sorry to hear of your loss you have a wonderful support system and you are one very strong young lady.I know time will help you heal. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.I am also rhesus negative and as you know had 3 healthy children Love Diane