I've come to realize that nothing in life is easy. You have to work at EVERYTHING. I always see my friends and ppl on tv(yes I know they are not real) and wonder how the hell do they do it every single day. How do they make everything look easy? Do they not have ANY problems? I sometimes feel that I have a lot of problems, perhaps I blame it on my childhood but honestly it's no one's fault but my own. I have not grown to the person I am very proud of. I get depressed very easily and have NEVER had much motivation to do anything. This is why I never finished school. So much easier to go shopping or lay in bed. Yesterday I finally felt motivated and I am praying that it keeps up. I don't want to be this hermit that I've become. I blame everything that I do or don't do on something else. I don't feel like cleaning b/c our house it too cluttered...I'm the packrat that has cluttered this new house up. Maybe I am mildly depressed now but I've been in these same shoes before and I've picked myself up and I can do it again. I do wonder though, am I always going to be one of these ppl that gets depressed easily and lacks motivation? I sure as hell pray I'm not but I've afraid it's going to be a lifelong battle. Quite like an alcoholic has a daily struggle of not taking a drink, I think I'm going to have a daily struggle to get up and get out of bed and do something productive. Thanks to my good friend Chelsea, I am motivate to clean this filthy house and DECLUTTER!! She just recently straighten up their house and it looks great! I've always wanted a house that EVERYTHING has a home and promised myself that I would NOT let this house get this way and a year and a half of living here, it's a shit hole. I am a PACKRAT!
There are a ton of projects that I wanted to do for my child with my sewing machine and when I bought my new machine I envisioned me as little Martha Stewart sewing up a storm. And I did for the first few months...but now I cannot tell you the last time I've even looked at the machine! I always had good intentions but RARELY followed through with what I said I was going to do.